The joys

I love being a mother, it’s the best that’s EVER happened to me even with all of its challenges. As a black mother, I also have the privilege of teaching my daughter self-love and self-respect at an early age by loving and respecting myself. Also, I can’t remember what it was like before I met her. Having Amandla was such a life changing experience. I always was looking for the purpose in my life and when I had her I found it. I love being a mother. I know I am good at it. That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes, hell it’s only been 6 months. I am very honoured to be her mother. I love being a mom because it forces me to be present and live in the moment.

Becoming a better womxn

It was the year 2006. This was around the same time where a lot of my friends were having sex and they would always exclude me from conversations cause I was the pure & innocent one. I told myself yeah they were sexually active and had stories to tell and were more popular but at least I was a virgin. Sex was the new big thing and being “pure” and “different from the other girls” was the crutch I used to make myself feel better.I just knew if you weren’t having sex ( especially out of marriage) you didn’t have to be worried about abortions.

It wasn’t until this that I started to question my pro-choice beliefs. Also finding out that a close friend had 2 abortions. I slowly became pro-choice yrs after my 1st degree with more and more education and personal friendships with other pro-choice womxn. Now I’m firmly pro-choice.

That’s why I question the true intention of anti-abortion and if it’s truly about being pro-LIFE or pro-fighting to maintain that feeling of supremacy over other womxn. I was fighting to be superior over other womxn. When you were raised in a sexist, misogynistic society, internalized misogyny is almost encouraged and you don’t even see what’s wrong with shaming womxn who are having sex or who have terminated their pregnancies.. You really believe you’re doing the noble thing. It almost takes a miracle to get out of that mindset.

Right now I see myself myself as a better womxn ( not in a Biblical sense). Recognizing my internalized misogyny helped me recognize my own insecurity, anxieties and triggers and steps into healing them.

 

Perks of living alone

Having shared space with a bunch of inconsiderate roommates, for me one of the major advantages of living alone is the peace and quiet. I don’t have to listen to other people coming and going, or playing music when I want to sleep and I think living solo can actually be a great opportunity for personal growth.

1. Living alone gives you the opportunity to figure out what you love.

2. You don’t have to compromise on TV shows because the remote is yours and yours alone and so is the couch.

3. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in every little detail of your roommate’s day.

4. You can fart aggressively where and when you want.

5. You don’t have to deal with your roommate’s bad habits.

6. You don’t have to wait for your roommate to finish up in the bathroom. You can literally use it whenever you need to.

7. You don’t have to let your roommate know ahead of time that you’re bringing someone home.

8. You don’t have to deal with a drunk roommate coming home at 2 a.m.

9. You don’t have to deal with your roommate’s friends who come over.

10. No one else’s alarm will ever wake you up.

11. You don’t have to say “good morning” to anyone until you get to work.

12. Good to know that when you get home after a tough day at work, there’s nobody to bug you.

Lastly, the best thing about living alone is that you have your own space.

OH MY GLOSS! Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss

Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

I swear that lip gloss was the bane of my life in my teenage days. I have fond memories of taking my clear, vanilla smelling gloss out of my bag to add a bit of sparkle to my face after school, because any form of make-up wasn’t allowed. All of this because I went to a Catholic school.

I got the The Yardley StayFast High Definition lip gloss in Playful plum. It’s perfect for days when you don’t want too much colour on your lips, yet great enough to make it look like you’ve made a bit of effort. I like the fact that it doesn’t feel sticky on the lips. Thee fact that it smells absolutely amazing is a bonus.

The lip gloss claims to provide provides high definition, colour and shine, and is enriched with vitamin E for that extra moisture.

Me wearing Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

Available at;
Clicks and http://dischem.co.za/

Colour me red

Wearing Yardley StayFast Liquid Matte Lip Vinyl in engine red.

While there is an array of lipstick colours available, a dash of red lips will always be original and classic. Women of different shades across the world continue to rock the red lip, with the likes of Taylor Swift adopting it as her signature look. I will have you know that I have never been a fan of red lipstick because it was hard to find the perfect shade of red for my skin tone. I later realized that the problem was not the lip colour, but the wrong selection of the colour for my skin tones. However, in 2014 I discovered MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte and I absolutely loved it. I believe that there is a red lipstick for every skin tone and the best red lipstick for dark skinned women should complement the skin undertones. Otherwise, the lip colour will just look unflattering. With that said, I believe almost anyone can rock this lipstick.

Positives of Ruby Woo Retro Matte ;
Lasts longer (making it perfect for a long day at work or at the club)
Doesn’t smudge easily
Perfect for almost every shade of skin
It smells yummy

Negatives of Ruby Woo Retro Matte;
Because it is a matte formula it dries out the lips a bit ( you can base your lips with lip balm to prevent this)
The price is a bit steep

Reds for dark skinned women;
Try MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte available at http://www.maccosmetics.co.za/
MAC Lipstick in Viva Glam 1 Matte available at http://www.maccosmetics.co.za/
Yardley StayFast Liquid Matte Lip Vinyl in engine red available at Clicks ( this works as a perfect dupe for the Mac lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte)

Mac Giambattista Valli Collection

Italian Couture fashion designer Giambattista Valli teamed up with Mac to bring a beautiful collection of matte lipsticks fit for all seasons. The shades range from a light pink to a dark cherry and one high gloss product that allows you to add sparkle to you day look, should you want to hit the streets after work or class. The entire collection hit stores on July 9 2015 overseas and hit South African stores yesterday ( 3 September 2015) and sold out today.

Description of the collection;

*MAC Bianca B Lipstick: pale white-pink
*MAC Eugenie Lipstick: dark cherry
*MAC Charlotte Lipstick: medium-dark red
*MAC Margherita Lipstick: coral/ bright peach
*MAC Tats Lipstick: bright hot pink

Deeply saddened that I couldn’t get one lipstick from the range.

I’m allergic to synthetic hair

I had just had some hot braids installed but after two days of itching and serious scalp irritation I had to take them out. Money down the drain and time wasted. I knew it wasn’t my scalp because I washed my hair on the day I installed the braids. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to synthetic fibre. Apparently synthetic hair contains an alkaline coating which allows us to curl the fibre in hot water or burn it.

Ways of removing the alkaline base from synthetic hair

1: Wash your hair in a solution of water and apple cider vinegar

2: Wash the fibre with regular shampoo

3: Spray your scalp with a mixture of water & apple cider vinegar

ACV crazy

Image: http://www.herbs-info.com/

Apple cider vinegar is my latest obsession. I recently started consuming apple cider vinegar as a means to detoxify and suppress my appetite during my 3 day juicing journey. I’ve since discovered other uses to incorporate apple cider vinegar into my daily routine. From what I have read ACV is effective for pretty much anything— the skin, hair and even around the house.

ACV uses

1. Apple cider vinegar can help in weight loss
This is the very reason why I started consuming ACV. During the day I drink water with lemon slices and a few drops of ACV. It suppressed the appetite and this is due to the acetic acid level in the vinegar.

2. It adds shine to the hair.
I’ve seen a lot of naturals on the inter webs praising ACV as a hair rinse.It’s said to boost the hair’s body and shine.

3. It’s good for the skin
I’ve seen a few posts about replacing store bought skin toner with ACV. It has to be diluted with water and NOT to be applied undiluted as it may cause skin irritation.

4. It’s good for getting rid of flies
When my mom makes tripe she always has half a glass of vinegar in the kitchen, because tripe attracts a lot of flies and we all now how irritating flies are.

5. Oral Health
After I removed a tooth I suffered from bad breath and one of my co-worker suggested I gargle with diluted apple cider vinegar to help eliminate bad breath. Because ACV is highly acidic it’s best to use it diluted otherwise it could damage your tooth enamel.

ACV for the win!

Let’s get juicy: Day 3

Day 3

My day is incomplete without a bowl of corn flakes or weet- bix .I started to crave cereal in a major way and it’s the third day without any solids. I was having a bit of a rough day at work and I whined to Sabelo about wanting to eat solids and he said I should right away. I didn’t juice today, I didn’t want to, I drank tons of water and ate lots of fruits and spinach. Day 3 done!

After cleanse: the good
* I’m motivated to stay healthy. Juicing for more than a day reset my mind. I’d be lying if I said physically there’s a difference.

After cleanse: the bad
* It’s tough. I was hungry and hangry and maybe even miserable. One of my co-workers told me she was worried about me because I didn’t look okay at all.

Overall, my juice cleanse was a positive experience, but I’m not sure it really did anything for me apart from re-focussing my mind. Would I juice again? Maybe not. I will, however, be drinking plenty of water with ACV.

Let’s get juicy: Day 2

Day 2
I woke up very hungry and all I wanted was for the juicing journey to come to an end over and done with. The 1st thing I drank was lemon water with lemon slices and a teaspoon of ACV. You’re also supposed to drink lots of water throughout the day during the cleanse, so you can imagine how many bathroom trips I made.

I drank my first juice around 1:00 PM. The juice was made of carrots,apples and beetroot and I call itthe red monster. I drank the juice at one go because I was very hungry and the craving for solids was real.

For dinner I had vegetable soup only, it was pretty tasteless, but at least filled my tummy and lifted my spirits. Day 2 done and dusted.