The joys

I love being a mother, it’s the best that’s EVER happened to me even with all of its challenges. As a black mother, I also have the privilege of teaching my daughter self-love and self-respect at an early age by loving and respecting myself. Also, I can’t remember what it was like before I met her. Having Amandla was such a life changing experience. I always was looking for the purpose in my life and when I had her I found it. I love being a mother. I know I am good at it. That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes, hell it’s only been 6 months. I am very honoured to be her mother. I love being a mom because it forces me to be present and live in the moment.

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Becoming a better womxn

It was the year 2006. This was around the same time where a lot of my friends were having sex and they would always exclude me from conversations cause I was the pure & innocent one. I told myself yeah they were sexually active and had stories to tell and were more popular but at least I was a virgin. Sex was the new big thing and being “pure” and “different from the other girls” was the crutch I used to make myself feel better.I just knew if you weren’t having sex ( especially out of marriage) you didn’t have to be worried about abortions.

It wasn’t until this that I started to question my pro-choice beliefs. Also finding out that a close friend had 2 abortions. I slowly became pro-choice yrs after my 1st degree with more and more education and personal friendships with other pro-choice womxn. Now I’m firmly pro-choice.

That’s why I question the true intention of anti-abortion and if it’s truly about being pro-LIFE or pro-fighting to maintain that feeling of supremacy over other womxn. I was fighting to be superior over other womxn. When you were raised in a sexist, misogynistic society, internalized misogyny is almost encouraged and you don’t even see what’s wrong with shaming womxn who are having sex or who have terminated their pregnancies.. You really believe you’re doing the noble thing. It almost takes a miracle to get out of that mindset.

Right now I see myself myself as a better womxn ( not in a Biblical sense). Recognizing my internalized misogyny helped me recognize my own insecurity, anxieties and triggers and steps into healing them.

 

Perks of living alone

Having shared space with a bunch of inconsiderate roommates, for me one of the major advantages of living alone is the peace and quiet. I don’t have to listen to other people coming and going, or playing music when I want to sleep and I think living solo can actually be a great opportunity for personal growth.

1. Living alone gives you the opportunity to figure out what you love.

2. You don’t have to compromise on TV shows because the remote is yours and yours alone and so is the couch.

3. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in every little detail of your roommate’s day.

4. You can fart aggressively where and when you want.

5. You don’t have to deal with your roommate’s bad habits.

6. You don’t have to wait for your roommate to finish up in the bathroom. You can literally use it whenever you need to.

7. You don’t have to let your roommate know ahead of time that you’re bringing someone home.

8. You don’t have to deal with a drunk roommate coming home at 2 a.m.

9. You don’t have to deal with your roommate’s friends who come over.

10. No one else’s alarm will ever wake you up.

11. You don’t have to say “good morning” to anyone until you get to work.

12. Good to know that when you get home after a tough day at work, there’s nobody to bug you.

Lastly, the best thing about living alone is that you have your own space.

OH MY GLOSS! Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss

Yardley's StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

I swear that lip gloss was the bane of my life in my teenage days. I have fond memories of taking my clear, vanilla smelling gloss out of my bag to add a bit of sparkle to my face after school, because any form of make-up wasn’t allowed. All of this because I went to a Catholic school.

I got the The Yardley StayFast High Definition lip gloss in Playful plum. It’s perfect for days when you don’t want too much colour on your lips, yet great enough to make it look like you’ve made a bit of effort. I like the fact that it doesn’t feel sticky on the lips. Thee fact that it smells absolutely amazing is a bonus.

The lip gloss claims to provide provides high definition, colour and shine, and is enriched with vitamin E for that extra moisture.

Me wearing Yardley's StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

Me wearing Yardley’s StayFast High Definition Lipgloss in Playful Plum

Available at;
Clicks and http://dischem.co.za/

Colour me red

Wearing Yardley StayFast Liquid Matte Lip Vinyl in engine red.

Wearing Yardley StayFast Liquid Matte Lip Vinyl in engine red.

While there is an array of lipstick colours available, a dash of red lips will always be original and classic. Women of different shades across the world continue to rock the red lip, with the likes of Taylor Swift adopting it as her signature look. I will have you know that I have never been a fan of red lipstick because it was hard to find the perfect shade of red for my skin tone. I later realized that the problem was not the lip colour, but the wrong selection of the colour for my skin tones. However, in 2014 I discovered MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte and I absolutely loved it. I believe that there is a red lipstick for every skin tone and the best red lipstick for dark skinned women should complement the skin undertones. Otherwise, the lip colour will just look unflattering. With that said, I believe almost anyone can rock this lipstick.

Positives of Ruby Woo Retro Matte ;
Lasts longer (making it perfect for a long day at work or at the club)
Doesn’t smudge easily
Perfect for almost every shade of skin
It smells yummy

Negatives of Ruby Woo Retro Matte;
Because it is a matte formula it dries out the lips a bit ( you can base your lips with lip balm to prevent this)
The price is a bit steep

Reds for dark skinned women;
Try MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte available at http://www.maccosmetics.co.za/
MAC Lipstick in Viva Glam 1 Matte available at http://www.maccosmetics.co.za/
Yardley StayFast Liquid Matte Lip Vinyl in engine red available at Clicks ( this works as a perfect dupe for the Mac lipstick in Ruby Woo Retro Matte)

Mac Giambattista Valli Collection

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Italian Couture fashion designer Giambattista Valli teamed up with Mac to bring a beautiful collection of matte lipsticks fit for all seasons. The shades range from a light pink to a dark cherry and one high gloss product that allows you to add sparkle to you day look, should you want to hit the streets after work or class. The entire collection hit stores on July 9 2015 overseas and hit South African stores yesterday ( 3 September 2015) and sold out today.

Description of the collection;

*MAC Bianca B Lipstick: pale white-pink
*MAC Eugenie Lipstick: dark cherry
*MAC Charlotte Lipstick: medium-dark red
*MAC Margherita Lipstick: coral/ bright peach
*MAC Tats Lipstick: bright hot pink

Deeply saddened that I couldn’t get one lipstick from the range.

I’m allergic to synthetic hair

braids

I had just had some hot braids installed but after two days of itching and serious scalp irritation I had to take them out. Money down the drain and time wasted. I knew it wasn’t my scalp because I washed my hair on the day I installed the braids. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to synthetic fibre. Apparently synthetic hair contains an alkaline coating which allows us to curl the fibre in hot water or burn it.

Ways of removing the alkaline base from synthetic hair

1: Wash your hair in a solution of water and apple cider vinegar

2: Wash the fibre with regular shampoo

3: Spray your scalp with a mixture of water & apple cider vinegar